Why Leaders Worry About Influencing Others
Imagine you’ve been promoted to a new leadership position and the new role requires you to not only manage people, but influence a lot of different stakeholders.
This is a new level of stress because you feel the added pressure of being judged on how well you can connect, gain buy-in and engage people at all levels of the organization.
You talk to other leaders who have been promoted to executive levels. They tell you that being able to hold your own in executive conversations and meetings, and get others to buy what your selling is paramount to being seen as true executive material.
This can sometimes make leaders feel like they have risen to their own level of incompetence (imposter syndrome) when they are promoted to a leadership level that isn’t just about being technically competent. It requires using other muscles they have not built or used yet.
Or they could have been individual contributors who now have to lead a team. They can no longer just worry about themselves. They have to be able to influence others to perform…which is a whole different level of responsibility.
So what does the term ‘influence’ typically mean to people?
Typical Ways ‘Influence’ is Defined:
- Able to get people to actually pay attention to what you are saying
- Able to communicate in a fashion where others believe you are adding value to a conversation/meeting
- Able to hold your own in a meeting with your peers and higher level leaders
- Able to get your team to actually do what you want them to do
- Able to influence others to change opinions, behaviors, mindsets, attitudes and habits
Misconceptions About the Ability to Influence Others in the Workplace:
- It’s about how well you articulate and express your thoughts, ideas and opinions
- It’s about being able to demonstrate your intelligence and knowledge
- Influencing is about talking (confusing talking with influencing)
- It’s about having that great nugget or silver bullet that will wow them
Why These Views are Misconceptions:
- They make the assumption that you have to always be ‘on’ and always perfect in your articulation and your content. It’s about being persuasive. Not perfectly eloquent
- Influencing people is not event focused. Meaning, the belief that you have to be perfectly articulate in that big presentation or discussion or you will lose people forever
- Influence is about building trust by letting others be heard, then you providing ideas, insights and perspectives based on what they need. It’s not about you…it’s about them
- It’s also about how you act, not just speak. How you handle situations and model leadership behavior
It’s amazing how many of my clients have said they need to be better at influencing others but they don’t actually know how to go about it.
True influence is a process. Not an event. It’s about building relationships, trust and respect over time. It’s being empathetic, understanding the perspective of others. Knowing their pains, their needs and their motivators.
There’s a lot that goes into influencing others. Influencing others is about having built that trust and respect, so you have their ear when you need to influence them.
Can you honestly tell me that someone you don’t respect, don’t trust and makes every interaction about them…has the ability to positively influence you on a consistent basis? No, you won’t be as receptive and engaged and will eventually tune them out.
People need to see you consistently provide real value to them in a way that connects with them. You learn about each of your co-workers, team and bosses and how to cater what value you bring for each of them.
