You’re a dedicated and loyal leader. You want to handle all the challenges of the week and you want to respond to all your team’s and stakeholder’s needs.
You come in each Monday with the greatest intentions of being more proactive and intentional this week. But after a while you fall into that same reactive mode of constantly putting out fires. You fly by the seat of your pants and work very reactively.
It always feels like you are on the edge of chaos, and the next thing you know, it’s Friday and you are totally spent.
Work always feels like (and sometimes your life) it’s happening to you…not for you. The sense of having no control and direction causes you even more stress because you know it must be affecting how you are developing your team. Reactivity and constant firefighting are unhealthy for you and your team.
You always say you want to be a more controlled and deliberate leader and that you eventually will, but you end each year feeling like you just survived the year and your team does not seem to be learning and developing. This takes its toll on your confidence and well-being.
Does this sound familiar?
The work environment is constantly changing, your responsibilities are growing, and expectations are high for leaders. It is a complex business world, and you have to figure out how to handle it better.
Why Do You Always Feel Like You are in Survival Mode?
What causes people so much stress is that they feel completely out of control and with no direction. It’s not that they have no control at all. It just feels that way.
Some readers will immediately say…that’s not true…I can’t control my situation. Such as a bad boss, insufficient resources, bad culture, unreasonable expectations, conflicting priorities, etc., etc.
I am not saying that you can control these challenges. I am saying…your approach and response are what you can control and that can really help how you experience your work and career.
This is a tough pill to swallow for some people, because many play the victim to their work circumstances. We use them as excuses to complain and not act. It’s the devil we know and it’s really hard to respond well to tough circumstances and situations.
Easier playing the consummate victim? How’s that been working for you so far? You just keep surviving, people think you complain a lot and you are not much fun to be around. This is not a sustainable existence for you and your team. You need an answer.
How Can You Stop Surviving and Start Thriving?
You need to take ownership and no longer play the victim. Take ownership of your emotions, thoughts, behaviors, direction and time. All these things contribute to your sense of control or lack of control.
Once you take ownership, then you can start taking more control and feeling the positive effects of deliberation in your work and career. You can thrive and not just survive.
Emotions, Thoughts, Behaviors:
- Set your day up for success: meditate, workout, eat right. Enable your brain to be calmer and clearer to better handle the day.
- Focus on improving your EQ so you can better understand and manage your emotions and how you relate to your team.
- Consciously and intentionally choose not to react to changes, issues, and challenges. Instead, respond to them and deal with them calmly.
- Focus on decluttering your environment (office-home) because it helps declutter your mind.
- Plan ahead to mitigate distractions and energy sapping situations and people.
- Build structured process into your day. Reduce the flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach as much as possible.
Direction:
- How do you know if you are out of control (on the wrong path and going the wrong direction) if you never gave yourself a destination? So many times, I have clients tell me they are too reactive and not going in the right direction.
But, when I ask them what their goals and objectives are for themselves and their teams…they have no idea. Thus, no real direction.
- Make a decision each day, and each week, on what you need to prioritize and where to direct yours’ and your team’s time and energy.
- So many leaders just assume that because they are leading people and servicing/supporting clients… 90% of their day will be reacting to other’s needs and that’s just how it is. That is not effective or healthy.
Time:
- Schedule each day of the week. Gain control of your whole calendar. It’s a known fact that most successful people have their workday all planned out, so they feel as intentional, focused and productive as possible
- Empower and delegate. Stop the perfectionism and hero complex. Distribute work to your team and learn to trust them.
- Say “no” a lot more. Don’t do meetings just because you have FOMO (fear of missing out) or because you are afraid to tell your boss the meeting has no value for your work.
- Manage down and up. Teach people how to treat you. Example…teach them not to send you 20 emails a day. Put all their issues/questions in one email twice a day.
- Plan (in your schedule) time that is focused on being reflective and strategic. You need to take the time to quietly inventory what’s working and what’s not, then plan strategies on how to move forward.
- Do not answer emails and texts, or Instant Messages right away. Set time aside 2-3 times a day.
Taking back as much control of your work and life as possible can have far reaching effects. It reduces your stress, increases your confidence, improves your performance and gives you a sense of satisfaction.
Time to take control of your work. Stat thriving. If you can’t do it on your own, get some help.
Stay Calm and Lead On!
